I've come to the realization that I'm just here to be used.
People throw their worry at me, their concern. But humans, some at least, need to feel this way. So, maybe I create problems for them to worry about. Who knows.
People see past me, they don't need to care so they don't.
People give me fake hugs. Hugs with no meaning.
People share fake smiles with me. With eyes that are blocked shut by the invisible wall separating me from the rest of the world.
People leave me out. They don't even fucking bother inviting me, then proceed to talk about their plans right in front of my face. Thanks for ruining my fucking day, "friends".
People tell me to do things. I'll comply, they know that. I can't say no.
People expect certain things from me. I can't stray from my norm, or something's wrong. I can't take a longer time in my bathroom, or I'm cutting. I can't eat any less food, or I'm anorexic. I can't complain about feeling like I'm going to throw up, I have the flu. I can't go to bed early, I'm depressed.
So, wall me up. Shut me in. I'll be the perfect girl in the pretty little glass box for the world to use as they please.
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